Daily Devotional

[Ronnie W. Stark]

The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them. But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength so that I might preach the Good News in its entirety for all the Gentiles to hear. And he rescued me from certain death” (2 Timothy 4:16-17 NLT).

When you’re lonely, where is God? He’s where he has always been: right beside you. He is with you even if you don’t feel it. The Bible says over and over that if you have a relationship with Christ, then God is with you all the time. He says, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20b NIV). He’s always with you. You’re never really fully alone.

A few years ago, Kay and I flew to Hong Kong to do a seminar for some of our missionaries. About halfway through the 17-hour flight, we went through the most horrendous storm. We were pitching and jolting. The plane was tilting, and everybody was getting antsy. They were obviously disturbed by the circumstances. The crew asked over the speaker, “Is there a minister on the plane?” I raised my hand. They approached me and said, “Everyone’s pretty upset because of the flight. Can you do something spiritual?” So I took an offering!

No, not really. But the people on that flight needed to hear that God is with us. For believers, it’s a promise that we can cling to in our times of fear and loneliness. Not only is it a comfort, but it also gives us the opportunity to get to know God better.

Loneliness is a time to become better acquainted with God. In your season of loneliness, you need to recognize God’s presence.

Amy Grant used to sing a song with the lyrics, “I love a lonely day; it chases me to you.” Prayer is a powerful antidote to loneliness. God has a 24-hour drop-in service. You can talk to him anytime, anywhere, anyplace, and he understands how you’re feeling when you say, “God, I’m lonely. I hurt! My heart is splitting. I am miserable. I feel empty. Help me, God.” You can talk to him anytime.

David says in the psalms, “Where can I flee from your presence?” Nowhere. You will never be in a place where God isn’t. If you’ve trusted Christ, he’s with you in your heart. Choose to refocus on that when you feel lonely.

Talk It Over

How have you experienced God’s presence in the past? What effect did it have on you?
How can you get better acquainted with God?
What do you have to believe for prayer to make a difference in your loneliness?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

A Dull Ax
Using a dull ax requires great strength, so sharpen the blade. That's the value of wisdom; it helps you succeed. (NLT) ( Ecclesiastes 10:10 )

Just like having the right tools makes it easier and faster to get the job done, the same is true with wisdom. We have the choice to work harder or work smarter. Wisdom may not always lead to the easier route, but it will lead you to success. Make sure to ask God to give you wisdom when you seek advice. He will share His wisdom with you.
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[Ronnie W. Stark]

Will Prosper
The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. (NLT) ( Proverbs 11:25 )

Make a difference today and be generous towards others. One of the best ways to be generous is by giving words of encouragement. Encourage people around you today, and you'll see that you yourself will be refreshed! There's nothing like the feeling you get from bringing a genuine smile to someone's face. Try thoughtfully encouraging and you will receive enrichment from your generous words.
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[Ronnie W. Stark]

“Let us love one another, for love comes from God” (1 John 4:7a NIV).

If you want to know how to be a good parent and build a strong family, you don’t have to look online or go to a bookstore. Look no further than the greatest book ever written on parenting: God’s Word, the Bible.

It says in 1 John 4:7a “Let us love one another, for love comes from God” (NIV).

More than anything else, kids need unwavering and unconditional love. There needs to be a place where they’re accepted — warts and all.

What is compassion? Compassion is a combination of love and understanding. Compassion is where you know everything about someone and you still like that person.

Love is not natural. You have to learn to love. You learn by practicing. What better place to practice than with the people you’re forced to live with all your life? If you can learn to love your family, you can love anybody. Why? Because it’s easy to love people at a distance, but when you’re with them all the time, you don’t always get along. When you practice love in the family, you’re learning to really love.

A lot of times we love our kids, but we don’t express it in a way they can understand it. Children understand love in three ways: affection, affirmation, and attention.

1. Affection. Children need lots of hugs and touch and kisses. They need to feel your love.

2. Affirmation. You need to tell your kids every day — and more than once a day — how much you love them. Affirm them, and build them up with love.

3. Attention. One of the greatest gifts you can give others is listening to them. When you look at children on their level, you’re saying, “You matter to me. You’re important to me. I want to hear what you have to say.” In doing this, you show compassion.

Talk It Over

In what different ways do you see that your children express and receive love?
What routines or habits can you practice so that you are showing your kids affection, affirmation, and attention every day?
If you don’t have children, what is your responsibility to the children in your life, such as nieces and nephews, neighbors, or the children of friends?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

Bible Study Verse
Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. (NIV)

Thoughts
I enjoy bass fishing at night, when our feisty "small-jaws" come out to play. One of my friends introduced me to the excitement of night fishing a few years ago. Fishing after dark is a particular joy during the super-hot days of July and August here in Kentucky. During those months, most of our club tournaments are night tournaments.

One of the most exciting things about night fishing is running the lake in the dark. On nights when there is a full moon, my buddy, James, will run his Stratos all out. The moon reflecting off of the water seems almost as bright as daytime. But sometimes we fish when there is no moon, and it's pitch black. On those nights, one cannot run the lake at full speed. A boater has to slow down and use a spotlight to look for debris, buoys, and channel markers. Without a good spotlight, it would be impossible to navigate the water safely.
(Geoff B)

Action Point
Think with me for a moment . . .

How many men in our culture are trying to navigate the waters of their lives in pitch darkness, with no light?

God's Word reminds us that His Word is a light for guiding our paths. It is His Lamp that makes the way clear for us. Are you trusting in God's Word to show you the way, or are you "driving blind?"

If you're running in the dark, don't be surprised when you slam into a life-altering obstacle.

[Ronnie W. Stark]

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God” (Hebrews 12:15a NLT).

When you’re going through a season of loss, you need not only the support of other people, you also need the perspective of other people. When you experience loss, you don’t see the whole picture. Your pain narrows your focus, and you need people to help you see the big picture. We need each other desperately in a season of loss.

After you release your grief, it’s time to let other people minister to you. Let them help. Let them comfort. Let them offer suggestions. Let them sit with you and grieve with you. And don’t be embarrassed about it! That is one of the reasons God created the Church. We are a family, and we are to care for each other.

You need to get involved in a small group and get into ministry so those relational bridges will be in place before the inevitable time of loss comes.

Years ago, when our church was much smaller, a family attended Saddleback for five years. They never joined the church or took a membership class or got into a small group or found a ministry to serve in.

In the fifth year of their attendance, the man was opened up in surgery, and doctors discovered he was being eaten alive by cancer. They called the office and said, “Can Pastor Rick come visit us?”

I was often out of town, ministering somewhere. I called them back and said, “I can’t be there, but tell me the name of your lay pastor and who’s in your small group. Tell me what ministry you’re a part of. Name anybody in the church that you know, because I’ll contact them, and I’m sure they would be there in an instant to give you comfort, pray with you, encourage you, provide meals — whatever you need.” Although they had attended for five years, they couldn’t name a single person in the church.

He later got out of the hospital, and they left the church saying, “This church doesn’t care for us.” But they could’ve built those bridges and connections and friendships! All the opportunities had been there to develop relationships so the foundation would be in place when crisis came.

Hebrews 12:15a says, “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God” (NLT). To make it through a season of loss, we need God’s people to help us.


Talk It Over

Why is it often hard for many of us to receive grace and gifts from others?
What is the best way to approach someone who has experienced a loss so that you can offer help?
Think through some practical steps you can take to become more connected to your church or small group. Which step will you take today?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

Bible Study Verse
Job 13:15
Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him. (NKJV)

Thoughts
The big yellow Lab just looked at me with those sorrowful eyes. She probably wished that she hadn't chased those quail though that cactus patch! But she just sat quietly whimpering while I plucked the cactus spines first from her nose and then her paws. She would jerk once in a while when it especially hurt her, but then she would nuzzle me a little to show that it was ok and I would keep working on her. She trusted me completely, even though I hurt her sometimes. She somehow knew the pain was for her good.
(DH)

Action Point
This is the way it should be between us and God. If I had just one life verse, this would probably be it. It sums up the Christian life for me.

Yes, I know that I wouldn't even be able to trust Him if He didn't give me the faith to. But even that helps to understand the Christian life or at least what it should be.

[Ronnie W. Stark]

“Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:8b NLT).

The Bible says when you go through a season of loss, the first thing you need to do is release your grief.

Tragedy always produces strong emotions — anger, fear, depression, worry, and sometimes guilt. These feelings are scary to us, and we don’t know what to do with them. When we have experienced a major loss, these enormous feelings bubble up within us. If we don’t deal with them now, it will take us far longer to recover.

Some people never directly deal with grief in life. They stuff it. They push it down. They pretend it’s not there. They play like it doesn’t exist. And that’s why they’re still struggling with emotional stress from losses that occurred 20 or 30 years earlier.

There’s a myth that says God wants you to walk around with a smile on your face all the time saying, “Praise the Lord!” The Bible doesn’t say that anywhere.

In fact, Jesus taught the exact opposite. In Matthew 5:4, he says, “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (NLT). It’s okay to grieve. When people are Christians, we know they will go on to Heaven, so we need not grieve like the world. Our grief can be different. We grieve because we’re going to miss them, but we can also be at peace because we know they are with God.

What do you do with your feelings? You don’t repress them or stuff them deep inside you. You release them — you give them to God. You cry out to God, “God, I’m hurt! I’m grieving! This is a tough one to take.” If you want a good example of this, read through the book of Psalms, where many times David spills his guts and says, “God, I’m in a tough time right now. I am really, really hurting.” You cry out to God, just like David did.

Psalm 62:8b says, “Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge” (NLT). If you are going through a loss right now, please understand that if you don’t release your grief, it will pour out eventually. Feelings that are pushed down fester, and eventually they explode in a much worse situation.

Release your grief first so that God can begin to heal your heart.

Talk It Over

What are some misconceptions in our society that keep us from being comfortable with releasing our grief?
What grief or loss in your life have you struggled to deal with? How has it affected you?
How can church hurt or help someone who is grieving? How can you help encourage transparency in your small group or church?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them” (2 Timothy 4:16 NLT).

Paul says in 2 Timothy 4:16, “The first time I was brought before the judge, no one came with me. Everyone abandoned me. May it not be counted against them” (NLT).

Paul, one of the greatest followers of Jesus ever, was on trial in Rome, and not one person stepped forward to defend him. Not one! He was absolutely by himself. Nobody stepped forward to say, “This is a good guy. He’s alright.” Yet Paul did not say, “Those jerks — after all I’ve done for them all these years!” Instead, he said, “May it not be counted against them.” In other words, he was not going to let himself become bitter. Because bitterness always makes loneliness worse.

This is just one of the ways Paul teaches us how to live when we are going through a season of loneliness. When you feel lonely, you need to minimize your hurt. You need to play it down and pray it up. Don’t rehearse it over and over in your mind. If you do, it just gets bigger and bigger and out of control.

Refuse to become resentful, because bitterness will eat you up.

Bitterness and loneliness go together because they become a cycle. You become lonely. Then you start feeling bad about it and have a pity party. Then you become bitter. Your bitterness makes you even lonelier, which makes you more bitter. Soon, you’re a hardhearted, depressed person that nobody can get close to.

Nobody wants to be around a bitter person. Nobody wants to be around a cynic. Nobody wants to be around a person who is angry.

Bitterness will only perpetuate your loneliness. That’s why, when you go through a season of loneliness, you should minimize the hurt. Don’t build a wall around your life.


Talk It Over

What is your natural reaction to loneliness?
What people in your life can you reach out to when you are lonely?
When you feel like replaying the events or circumstances that led to your loneliness, what might you do instead?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy” (John 16:24 NCV).

Are you in financial need and waiting for God to help?

God has promised to meet your financial needs. He’s just waiting for you to ask for his help! The Lord never shuts his storehouse until you shut your mouth.

One of the reasons we see so few miracles in our lives is because we just don’t ask for them. Instead of living a life based on Christ, we live a life based on credit. When we have something we need, instead of stopping and asking God for it, before we even think about asking God for it, we just use that credit card. We trust credit instead of Christ.

If you want to see God work in your life, pray for it before you pay for it. Do you pray about major purchases before you make them? Or do you just take care of it with your credit card? Every time you use that credit card before praying about it, you’re short-circuiting a possible miracle in your life. Before you charge a purchase, why don’t you ask God about it first?

God is not going to give you everything you pray for, so don’t be surprised. But there are some things he does want to give you just to do a miracle in your life. Many people have never had a financial answer to prayer, because they’ve never prayed specifically.

“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy will be the fullest possible joy” (John 16:24 NCV). Do you know why God wants you to learn to ask for things in prayer? So he can give them, and so you’ll be full of joy. God is a loving Father. He’s not some ogre sitting in the sky, waiting to make your life a bummer. He wants to bless your life! You just have to ask.

Talk It Over

How do your spending habits and your prayer life intersect?
What is your family’s policy when it comes to making large purchases?
What are some ways your life reflects that you trust God with your finances?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

Bible Study Verse
Jeremiah 9:3
"And like their bow they have bent their tongues for lies. They are not valiant for the truth on the earth. For they proceed from evil to evil, And they do not know Me," says the Lord. (NKJV)

Thoughts
Jeremiah describes what happens when the tongue is bent on lying. Just like when a bow is bent, whatever is in the way of the arrow, or a lie, is going to get hit (or hurt).

But, then there is valor. What is valor? It is the pursuit of truth. Every patriot needs to know this and practice it.

The pursuit of truth makes the patriot a valiant one - a man who is unstoppable in seeking truth and making it known. The pursuit of truth makes the Christian man a valiant one - a truth warrior for Jesus, unstoppable in seeking the Truth and making Him known.

Liars are not valiant ones. Truth-twisters have no valor. They are treacherous men. There is no valor in treachery.

There is valor in the Truth.
(Don H)

Action Point
Pursue Truth. Be known for valor - for being a valiant one for Jesus.

[Ronnie W. Stark]

“Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures” (1 Corinthians 13:7 NCV).

The world is so negative that the last thing kids need when they come home is more negativity. Colossians 3:21 says, “Do not nag your children. If you are too hard to please, they may want to stop trying” (NCV).

Are you an unpleasable parent? If they get C’s, do you want B’s, only to want straight A’s when they get B’s? Do you really want your kids to give up, like the Bible says? Unpleasable parents produce insecure kids.

So, how do you raise confident kids? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures” (NCV). If you want to raise confident kids, you’ve got to build them up more than you tear them down. You’ve got to give more cheers than you give jeers.

Many parents think, “If I balance it out and give an equal amount of positive to the negative, it will be okay.” No! You need to give about 10 praises for every negative you give. Why? Because the negative is what you remember. If you were to get 10 compliments and one criticism, which one would you go home and remember? If I get 10 cards that say, “That sermon really helped me out a lot” and one that says, “You’re off the wall!” which one do you think I dwell on the most?

You’ve got to overemphasize the positive, because you inevitably have to do the negative.

All children need somebody in their corner, somebody who’s their cheerleader and believes in them and who says, “I know you can do it. I believe in you. I think you’re terrific. You’re the best. Go for it! I’m behind you. I know you can make it.” Kids need the confidence that only a parent can give.

Talk It Over

How do you regularly build your child up? With words? With actions?
What are the most common phrases that you use with your child? How many are positive? How many are negative?
Who would your children say is their biggest cheerleader?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

Bible Study Verse
I Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (NIV)

Thoughts
Conservation groups maintain and record the detailed measurements and weights of world record harvests. They specify the scoring criteria and stipulate rules and regulations on the game we pursue.

While some of us only chase world records, most realize that taking a record fish or animal is merely a byproduct from the challenge of the pursuit. Nevertheless, we adhere to those specific rules and guidelines set before us; a system by which we recognize as an ethical benchmark of success in the field.
(Will D)

Action Point
The world's system used to record man's earthly successes is a bit different. Its criterion measures things like the size of our house, our bank account, or the kind of vehicle we drive - usually without regard of rules, ethics, or fair chase.

God doesn't use that system. His is a Heavenly one. Only the heart is measured. He keeps no record of where it's been nor what it's said, thought, or done. His standard begins with and relies on simple faith, one found in and through His son Jesus Christ. Are you His world record trophy?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

“Whoever can be trusted with a little can also be trusted with a lot . . . If you cannot be trusted with things that belong to someone else, who will give you things of your own?” (Luke 16:10a, 12 NCV).

Kids need experiences that stretch them, reveal their talents, and develop their shape for ministry. They need challenges where they develop responsibility. One of the most important life skills all of us have to learn is responsibility.

How do you teach responsibility to your children? There’s only one way: Give them the opportunity. Trust them with responsibility. Will they make mistakes? Absolutely. You did, too, when you were growing up. Will they sometimes be irresponsible? Yes. But if you hold on to responsibility, you’re actually hurting your children. The goal of parenting from the moment your kids are born is to move them from parent control in the early years to self-control in the middle years to God’s control over their lives.

That means you have to give up control! When we take responsibility for people, we take it away from people. If you treat your children as babies and don’t let them grow up, you’ll have to diaper them the rest of your life. And you’re filling the world with another codependent person.

Many parents have said, “If I had it all to do over again, I’d do less for my children and teach them to do more for themselves.” The only way we grow is by being given challenges that stretch us, develop us, and build responsibility in our lives.

The Bible says, “Whoever can be trusted with a little can also be trusted with a lot . . . If you cannot be trusted with things that belong to someone else, who will give you things of your own?” (Luke 16:10a, 12 NCV).

Kids respond to responsibility. Having talked to many parents over the years and seen this in my own life, I believe that it’s far better to err on the side of giving too much responsibility than not trusting your kids enough. They’re going to make mistakes either way! Your goal is to produce a person who walks not just under his own self-control but also under God’s control.

Talk It Over

What is the difference between what you trust your kids with and what you were trusted with at their age?
What about society keeps us from more easily trusting our kids with responsibility?
How do you teach responsibility and God’s sovereignty at the same time?

[Ronnie W. Stark]

People ought to enjoy every day of their lives, no matter how long they live” (Ecclesiastes 11:8a NCV).

Kids need celebration!

That’s just a fancy word for fun. Families ought to have fun! The home should be a place to play. This is a major fault in many, many homes where the parents are basically good parents and are watching out for their kids, but they don’t have enough fun. They’re too busy. They come home with a “to do” list after work is over. All that stuff has to be done, and they just don’t have time for fun.

Do you endure your kids or do you enjoy them? Kids need celebration.

“People ought to enjoy every day of their lives, no matter how long they live” (Ecclesiastes 11:8 NCV).

When my kids were growing up, we had what we liked to call “Daddy’s Magical Mystery Tours.” Periodically, I shook up the whole schedule and said, “Forget the routine; we’re going to go have fun.” I would even wake up the kids in the middle of the night and put them in the car and do something outrageous — on a school night! So what if they miss a day of school? They’re going to remember that event. They’re going to remember when I got them up real early in the morning and let them eat French toast that I colored green.

Have fun with your kids! Enjoy them! No single day out of routine is going to make or break their lives. But a single special event that is crazy and fun will make a memory your kids will never forget.

If you’re not having fun with your kids at home and celebrating, don’t be surprised when they don’t want to spend time at home. If you don’t have fun with your kids and really enjoy them, don’t be surprised when they grow up and move out and don’t want to come back very often.

Don’t just endure your kids. Enjoy them!

Talk It Over

What is more important to you: your schedule or making sure your kids have fun? Why do we sometimes put our schedule before our kids?
What can you do this week to have fun with your kids?
What will you have to give up in order to do that?